Sad to be Glad

It’s been awhile since I’ve ached for a shot at hope.

At happiness.

Whatever you want to call it.

In those times of fear and dread, a fire was lit in my spine urging me to play defense.

To let those know that they aren’t the only ones that felt cast away.

A lot of the time, we joke and no one understands.

A lot of the time we feel as if we’re the character of our own movie that might not have the particular ending we want.

Now, in a sense of fulfillment, I am unfulfilled.

I have everything anybody could want.

Healthy family.

Best friends.

Good job.

My own apartment.

This and that.

But in a steady lifestyle, I feel even more ashamed than I’ve ever felt before.

A fire was put out.

The need to speak to those people has turned into an option.

The feeling of being that character in a movie has become nothing more than an extra getting paid by the hour.

It’s feels as if there’s nothing to worry about anymore with the notion that I’m doing just fine.

With that, comes the problem.

I’m sad to be glad.

Maybe somebody feeling like shit is the key to a better universe for the rest of us.

To give that person a reason to make art that inspires the rest of us

Art keeps us going around and around, wider and wider.

Artists rule the world and even these governments that set laws are unaware of it.

I’ll be dead again some day.

Until then, don’t take being sad for granted.

AltaLoma 4:14 pm

Reminding you to eat your cereal with a fork and to do your homework in the dark.

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